People I Hate Archive #3453

The fucking people who when you asked them if they believe in God or not they say:

'Woah man, woah, don't even go there man. That's like a fucking six hour conversation with me man. You're gonna be sitting their in complete awe with tears streaming down your eyes for days if I get into my religious views, it's best we don't even talk about it. Seriously, man, you'll have to learn three dead languages to understand my opinions and beliefs on whether I, in terms of who you think I am, believe in what ever you think God is.'

And then they turn around and say something like:

'I don't think heaven is really a place in the clouds, you know.'

These self righteous fools honestly think the opinions they've summed up from reading Spirituality 101 are unique to how the rest of the world sees reality.

As a general rule, if you believe it, there's at least hundreds of thousands of other people who also believe it and countless amounts of past literature on the belief system.

It doesn't take six hours to explain your beliefs, just type what you think into Google and check the Wikipedia article that you most closely agree with. Whatever it says there, then call yourself that.

Does anyone know a great idea for a novel?

Please use beautifully descriptive prose so I can copy and paste it into this book I'm writing.

The Deconstruction of Pooh Bear

The story structure of every Winnie the Pooh episode ever made:

Catalyst: Lack of honey.

Crisis: Protagonist is furthest away from obtaining honey.

Climax: Honey is obtained by central protagonist as basic moral lesson is imbued to audience through the growth auxiliary characters.

Resolution: Pooh Bear mauls antagonist to a bloody death and feeds on his entrails. The national park rangers track and kill four bears in the hunt for his body, which is never found.