Monday, June 27, 2011

The Erotic Adventures of Henry's Cat

Ohhhh, I am so fucking horny.
Henry thought to himself.

Then he got an idea:

Chris Rabbit! Let's have a good old fashioned fuck fest!
Chris Rabbit jumped up at the chance and ran to get Pansy Pig.

Hurry Pansy, it's a orgy! 
Pansy Pig ran to be first.

Oh God, get him off! No. No. Get him off. I don't want this any more!
But Pansy Pig was blinded by lust. To minimize damage, Henry's inner cavities widened in sheer defence.

I'll run for help! 

But Henry had other things in mind for Chris Rabbit.

You're not going anywhere! 

All in all, it was one of Henry's better orgies:


The End.

PS: I can't believe I just wasted thirty minutes of my life putting effort into compiling base level sexual jokes on  an obscure and forgotten children's television show for a blog that nobody reads. I'm fucking 26 years old.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

An Excerpt from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo



Blomkitvz drove to the place where the files were stored and the lady who worked there let him in. He flipped through the newspaper clippings for eight hours and found nothing in the pictures that related to Harry's disappearance. The next night he did the same, the lady let him in and made him sandwiches and coffee while he worked all night looking at newspaper clippings. Then Blomkivtz returned to the castle where the old man asked if he had found anything further on the case. Blomkvivtz told him that he might have but he can't be sure, it was too early to tell and he needs to look at more news paper clippings. 

Then Blomkiztv drove back to the place where the files were stored and looked through some more photos. Then he went back home and fucked that dyke who takes herself too seriously. Then he fucked that old bitch who lived near him. Then he went and fucked his magazine editor who is married but her husband lets her fuck Blomkivtz any time she wants. Then he went home and fucked the dyke again. Then the old man asked if he had made an progress on the case and Blomkvistz said that it was an extremely hard case and that the witnesses needed more probing, and then he winked at the old man, but the old man didn't know what he was talking about so he made him a sandwich and gave him some more newspaper articles to read.

‘You haven’t checked the Daily Bungle.’ said the old man. ‘Maybe there's a clue in there?’

Later on, after looking through the files at his house, Blomkitvz went to the store near the castle and bought some groceries.