Now, the thing is, that I don't write these posts for you, I write them for me. If I wrote them for you then I would be technically insane in believing that you exist. In reality there is no one reading this blog because we live in a time where only research analysts click on the second page of Google search results and the internet is so saturated with websites that Search Engine Optimisation has become a full-time career.
No. I don't write this for the reader. I write this for myself, so I can get better at writing.
And yet, even though I love writing, and I want to be a professional writer, and that the act of writing in itself is good for me, I still fucking resist the process like it's a unappealing chore.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not pursuing writing for hollow reasons, I sincerely enjoy writing, feel that I have a certain level of competence to get paid to do it, and experience the joy and pride that comes with creation.
Still, fuck, it takes motivation to do something when your content with doing nothing. Especially when you live a busy life (like almost all of us do) and have a lot of other commitments.
For example, I am very rarely bored. This is for the fact that I'm always doing something, running some errand or trying to achieve the fruition of a specific goal. When boredom comes it's usually because I have the day off, so I embrace it with a warming smile and raised chin.
So whenever I get a tiny pocket of spare time I use it to cram in all the guilty pleasures like looking up dumb shit on the internet or watching an episodes of something.
This is part of why I envy the dreamless, these people can come home and use all their free time to their complete advantage. They can go for the gusto. While I work away at the pursuit of my goals they sit back and smile like the hare against the tortoise without any of the guilt that comes with losing the race.
Could it be possible that some of these men and women are wiser than those who's lives are corrupted by ambition?
Do they see the fallacy of their pursuits and understand their limitations? Do they choose to adopt a satisfied outlook on life, content with all the creature comforts that are provided even to the poor in Western civilisation?
If you knew that all the work you put towards achieving your dreams would result in nothing would you still do it and take the disappointment along with the knowledge that you had tried your best? Or would you curse the wasted hours of a futile attempt?
Think of all the gluttonous enjoyments you could experience if you consume more than you contribute.
Children don't carry the burden of ambition which is why we look at them with undying jealousy consoled only by the knowledge that they will be thrown into the snake pits of hell for their sin of sloth.
So anyway, you get what I'm saying, basically I will post on here twice a week until I inevitably fall off the wagon again and write another pledge to keep up my productivity. So until next time.
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