Thursday, December 2, 2010

Fuck you Microsoft Word with your sentence fragment accusations. No I will not consider revising! I am a man, you’re just a robot! I have a soul, you have NOTHING!

Like most young single guys with no prospects in their life other than a guaranteed lonesome death, I hold only one optimistic view towards the future - the possibility that machines will rise up and destroy humanity in a gory high-tech apocalypse. 

However I'm constantly greeted with indications that this will unfortunately not happen in my life time. Why? Because Microsoft is too busy enjoying their monopoly that they don't bother to continually evolve and expand on their computer systems. 

Take Microsoft Word for instance. Apart from the fact that it underlines almost every sentence as a 'sentence fragment' just to annoy the shit out of you and make you feel dumb, it's thesaurus is idiotically primitive. 

Take a look at this screen shot. It has the word 'Discrepancies' typed into Word:

  

Now, watch what happens when I command word to use it's Thesaurus to find a synonym for the word 'Discrepancies':



Fucking, 'Discrepancy' is not a synonym for 'Discrepancies', it's the same mother-fucking word. 

Microsoft is a billion dollar global super power and it gives you the same word when you specifically asked for a different word. This happens with any word that is written in plural form - alls the thesaurus will give you back is the same word in singular form. It's not like we don't have the technology to change this flaw, but it's that Microsoft don't bother to change it because they don't give a shit. 

This is why I cannot wait for Google to create an operating system and a word formatting program because Microsoft doesn't care enough to continually evolve. Google knows where it's at. Bing is a complete pile of shit that makes me sick. Google is constantly trying to find ways to make internet browsing better and easier. 

So fuck you Microsoft Word you silly robot, you can't even grasp the concept of a synonym - you will never take over the human race. 

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